Winning over the MasseSS

While lamenting about the various possibilities on why some sports are not popular in the US with two coworkers, we discovered a surefire way to make cycling a major draw for American audiences.


If you can’t do it with loud noises do it with blood and lots of it. Imagine the excitement in the peloton when audience members start throwing chain whips and pedal wrenches to the Domestiques. Disc wheels would offer more than just an aero advantage when the threat of a golf club through the spokes sets in.


Yet for some reason soccer has never really caught on in USA even with its history of semi-game related blood shed.

Yet, even though NASCAR and track racing are the same thing, minus the sponsorships by Budweiser, big V8 engines and Kentucky, legions of Wal-Mart frequenting members can’t be found at any of the nations 27 velodromes. Yet, there is always bike jousting...they already look like Road Warrior rejects too.

Speed skating and track running are also pretty similar to NASCAR in that you go counterclockwise around an ovular course for a pre determined length/lap count to determine who gets the next round of high paying sponsorship deals. The NASCAR ones tend to be more fruitful though…

I am also reminded, while on the subject of nuclear weapons and bicycles, that a few people at the shop last year started joking about creating a Post-apocalyptic Hipster movie.

Set in the not too distant future of New York’s Williamsburg neighborhood, the survivors of the cataclysm assert their dominance of precious territory and resources while atop ‘vintage’ Bianci’s wielding modified bike tools as weapons. It’s like a cross between West Side Story and Escape from New York, but with more hair product and less leather.


Hide your bagels and vinyl now, they are not safe from the future of humankind.