2.19.2010

Sacrilicious

Seeing as it is the first Friday of that monumental exercise in Catholic futility known as Lent, I thought I would get into the spirit by trying to find the quickest way to offend the largest number of sects/groups/subcultures as possible. I think I zeroed in on the most surefire way without getting overly complicated or time consuming...a bacon burrito from Taco Bell.

Catholics - eating meat on a Friday
Muslims - eating Pork
Jews - ditto
Vegetarians - eating meat
Vegans - eating anything that comes from an animal
Hindu - eating someones reincarnated relative
Buddhist - the pure act of eating something that is more than the basic nesesitey to live demonstrates your yearning for material comfort
Feminists - being a male
Straight Edgers - supporting the Taco Bell cashiers weed habit
Environmentalists - supporting international produce trade
Mexicans - eating fake Mexican cuisine
Neo Nazi's - supporting non-Aryan employment
the Organic people - eating something that doesn't occur naturally

Mmm...the taste of offense!!


Makes me glad I don't subscribe to any belief system that limits hat I can consume. Unless of course you point out that my unflappable worship of science tells me that eating something of this caliber is going to make my heart explody. Thankfully though, the goD of science can tel me exactly how much explody will take place through simple testing. last I knew it was a bit difficult to figure out how much Hell one would endure due to consuming beef during Lent.

As with the symbolic practice to sacrifice a comfort in the name of your belief in your zombie cosmic Jewish carpenter I continue to try and convince my semi-Catholic acquaintances to give up Catholicism for Lent...to little avail. I figure that's the most powerful symbol of your faith, to actually give it for a month (or more). Haha, jokes on the Lutherans...I'm never coming back!



On a side note not relating to Taquitos I discovered this interesting short list of bizarre subcultures...

I think the fact that about half of them originate in Japan says volumes.


mmm...eye patch love.

Meme's of goD!!

It strikes me odd that there is a large population of people on the interweb today that do not know 'Someone set us up the bomb.' What seemed to be one of the original if not the first truly viral internet video has mostly gone the way of Woops! Only a select group of geeks keep the flame flickering, if ever so weakly. So, to try and revitalize this highly entertaining internet meme from 10 years ago...



In addition to that I also felt it would be appropriate to share my favorite short animation piece from about 10 years ago that i still enjoy to quote from time to time...but this one I have been trying to keep alive fairly frequently, so this is mostly just spamming it by now.



In further addition, here is the greatest TV commercial ever made...even if the point doesn't actually come across and it's greatness is in the idea of Explody!!



Ahh, the 90's...when people wore flannel and no one batted an eye.

-taquito

2.18.2010

I Can't Believe It's Not Consumable!!

Every time I pull out my ginormous tub of margarine out of my fridge I keep thinking about a number of arguments I have heard over the years rallying against margarine and it's consumption.

One of the creepiest is 'that its only a few ingredients or so away from being plastic.'

or

'Flies won't even eat it.' (is this true?)

or

'It's actually worse for you than real butter.'

I know there are a few more but they have left my brain cavity at the moment. But here are some rebuttals...

McDonalds milkshakes ARE plastic.
Flies eat shit, does that mean it's better for me too?
None of it is good for you, not even olive oil, beyond what everyone thinks. It's all incredibly horrible for you and will make your heart turn into goo.

Here's why I like margarine over butter; I was raised on it, butter tastes weird to me, margarine is convenient in that its easy to spread on stuff, where as butter needs to be warmed up or left out. If you leave out butter it starts to turn rancid. I'm a firm believer in the baseless school of thought that anything from a plant is healthy, much like corn syrup. I mean it comes from corn, how can that be bad for you. High fructose corn syrup...that's like combining fruit and vegetables, so your getting twice as much goodness. I mean thats 2 servings of 1 of the 4 basic food groups right there. Fuck what the FDA says, it's all about the FOUR BASIC FOOD GROUPS, because everything I need to know I learnt in kindergarten.

I still like margarine, especially since I can get a tub of Sheds Spread from SAMS CLUB for under 4 bux and all that means is that I'm giving $4.00 to Sam Waltons evil empire and their pro Chinese free trade productions lines for the ability to 'butter' up my un-toasted slice of bread with out putting it in the microwave first or risking pulling the soft inner chewiness of the bread off of the crusty framework as I man handle the slab of 'frozen' animal by-product with a cold knife.


Musical Diversity

(written 3.11.09)

While taking the rare walk to work (since I usually bike) I started to think about people and music. Music is an enormous part of my life. I am around it for at least 10 hours of my day. As people who personally know me as with everything I am very opinionated with music. I like to think that my musical tastes are top notch, even though I admit some stuff I listen to has a very niche fan base (such as gabber or breakcore). I am very selective and picky with my music and refuse to buy a CD in most instances unless I know that most if not every single track on the album will be enjoyable. I don’t go out and buy CD’s for 1 song, as so many people are apparently apt to do.

What I wonder upon as I passed a stereotypical (possibly illegal) cleaning crew worker sitting in his truck outside of the restaurant he works at listening to tejano, is this: how can people stick with listening to only one style of music? Now you many say, that’s not true, no one can listen to one form of music, people listen to all sorts of music. Yet from all of my observations there are an unexpected number of individuals who only truly listen to one form of music. Country fans, hip hop fans, r&b fans, spiritual music fans, tejano fans, polka, big band…etc. Many, many people stick with one style and fill their life with it. Now, while filling your life with music is never a bad thing, as I am continually amazed when I run into people who don’t really regard music as important, I think sticking primarily to one style is doing a great disservice to the listener.

By only really listening to one genre/style/form of music you are locking yourself into a limited and closed off world. Now, I’m going to pound my chest here a bit, but I listen to a large and varying collection of music. From jazz to classical to techno, to heavy metal to hip hop to blues to minimalistic noise. I listen to all of these genres and more yet out of them I am very selective as to what I listen to. For jazz my favorite time period is the 60’s and early 70’s free form era. I have a plethora of albums from this time period as well as albums that are close to this style from earlier and later. Out of all the different jazz styles this is the one that speaks to me and that I enjoy the most. There are some artists I have found that can entertain me out of this period, such as some of the earlier big band jazz greats but my true love in this genre is from the experimental period. I also prefer my blues from the same time period. I have found that I can not listen to blues before the 40’s for one specific reason, the audio quality of the recordings. While I deeply appreciate roots blues and enjoy it to some extent I can not listen to anything off of say Chess Records and similar labels from the 20’s and 30’s specifically because the quality of the recording is so horrible. Sure, that’s what they had (especially with the low budget world of delta blues back then) but I can’t get around it.

I digress.

There is so much quality music out there that people miss, especially when they limit them selves. Now a lot of people who know me are going to cry wolf and say I limit myself with my opinions and un-based biases…and you know what you’re probably right, but I have so much music already and keep going deeper into the things I know I enjoy that I’m not in danger of running out of new music for a long time, besides I’m not missing anything by not checking out the newest Arcade Fire disk.

What really struck me with this idea was when I considered what I had been listening to on my way to work. I had recently acquired a large collection of singles from an old electronic record label called R&S. I’ve been familiar with the label since the mid 90’s and have listened to a few of the releases. I started going through this collection, listening to the artists I had never heard before and was amazed at my luck in finding such a large collection of quality electronic music. So here I am exploring completely new music by completely new artists, sure it all gets lumped under the generic ‘electronic music’ label (which is probably the most vast and all consuming genre out there, more than rock I would think) while this dude is whiling away his time with the same stuff he was probably raised on (I figured that’s how any person in my generation would get into folk music so heavily that it was his choice of aural pleasure right away in the morning…I mean I don’t wake up and put on polka since I wasn’t raised on it). Although I digress from my original point and open up an entirely different rant on musical tastes.

There is just too much music out there, across the entire spectrum that is quality material that people miss out on experiencing due to limit perception. I admit I fall pray to this as well…I’m sure there are a handful of emo or alt-county tunes I could get into…I’m just not going to waste my time and sanity trying to find them….especially when my plate is overflowing with what I already have in backlog. If you stick with one genre you severely limit yourself to experiencing other worlds. Just because the band doesn’t have a Christian message doesn’t mean you should ignore it, it doesn’t mean they don’t believe what you believe; they just choose not to wear their ideology on their sleeve. If you only listen to rap/hip-hop you miss out on other musical styles that are more then likely the influences or source material for your favorite artists or similar in ground work but different in delivery. I know many jungle tracks that any fan of 50 Cent would love to bump in their ’64, yet because it isn’t rap they don’t even look at it. Expand your tastes (although I’m going to hold tight where I am, I’m pretty damn diverse just really picky in that diversity).

The one thing that irritates me to all hell is when people say they listen to a little of everything. Really? Does that mean you really just switch between the corporate alt rock channel and the corporate urban channel on the FM dial? Do you just own a bunch of soundtracks that include diverging genres that you can get into (sometimes only because it reminds you of your favorite moments in the movie). Sorry but that isn’t actually a wide and varying taste in music. People who fill their CD collections with albums based upon that 1 song they heard on the radio and really got into but then found that that song was really the only one they liked and still say they like the band is like saying I like the Nazi’s because they did that one really responsible social program for their citizens but I didn’t agree with the rest of their policies but I’d still go see them at a rally just for that one policy. Yeah, I likened rabid pop music consumerism to Nazism. If it weren’t for those kinds of people Hootie and the Blowfish wouldn’t have made the money they did. Darius Rucker and Adolph Hitler are both evil in my eyes, sure one helped exterminate 12 million or so people on a cleansing campaign and the other just produced a few platinum reaching adult easy listening rock albums…same crimes in my eyes.

Yet I digress again.

Conclusion: Explore music, you will be amazed at what is out there and don’t come trying to lynch me when I hate. Like The Onion says, You’re Favorite Band Sucks!

The Explody Begins!!

I decided it was time to start a general topic web log to empty all the ideas roaming around in my Brain onto. Following the sage advice of a coworker commenting on another of my web logs I will try to keep the posts on this one short and concise. For now I will throw some older posts from other sites on here to get things started.